What does it mean?

My workmates and their students created this short 3D animated film called Amiganaut, and got me to star in it. I’m the giant scottish mech suit guy, dubbed the HGU — Heavy Ginger Unit. Awesome eh?

Quinn is an implementation of a popular falling-blocks game which, according to the Tetris Company, must not be named here.

ROFL. You got served, Tetris Co.

Seriously, Quinn is a really good implementation of that unnameable game for Mac OSX.

*I’m stuck on a glacier with MACGYVER!*

This one has certainly done the rounds — I don’t believe there’s a net-savvy New Zealander who hasn’t seen it already, but in case you missed it:

LOL ROFL LOL @ TELECOM.

To all those who invested in Telecom shares and got burned recently, Nelson from The Simpsons said it best: HAW-HAW!

Corporate Telecommunication Still Sucks.

Thanks to my workmate Klaus for forwarding this one on

MacZOT is updated every week day with a new piece of discounted shareware, available for instant purchase, while stocks last. Every so often they mix it up and offer a Myztery ZOT, which is an unknown package of many pieces of software for an amazingly discounted price.

I’m posting this story to maybe scam me a free copy of AppZapper with what MacZOT is calling a “BlogZOT” — every post linking to MacZot will put the price down by five cents. If we get 259 posts about MacZot, 1000 people will get it for FREE…. wooooooot! Be in quick, there’s only like 2h45 minutes to go before the software will be available

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s also a negative side. Hunter S Thompson

And with that said, go listen to Cory Doctorow’s Digital Rights Management (DRM) talk he gave in Antwerp earlier this year.

Also Relevant: MPAA Logo Goatse

But seriously, 3am and I want to go to sleep already, dammit. There are security guards here trying their best to get the sirens turned off. Whats New, our landlords, haven’t exactly been helpful in any of this. Oh, and would they fix our elevator for once and for all? -_-; Incompetent.

I’m listening to the Katamari Damacy soundtrack I nabbed off of Macweeny yesterday. It’s quite relaxing, even though the drone of the beeping is still quite loud, even street-side. But it is quieter down here than in my room. And at least I’ve got Cafenet coverage here

If a guy holding a white iBook is found lying down on the street this morning, it’s me. Please don’t steal my laptop.

Oh, and happy birthday, SmileyChris Hopefully I’ll see you later today, if I’m not freezing my toes off.

After more legendary presentations from Molly, Eric and Derek, I attended the Ajax session by Tim Lucas. I found myself wanting a bit more, but it was still VERY good.

Lunch came around, so I caught a cab to Found Agency. I got to meet Zak, the guy I talked to on the phone just over a week ago. He showed me around his office in Bondi Junction, and gave me a very in-depth insight into the world of SEO and Pay-Per-Click marketing. Basically, there is OMG HUGE money to be made — seeing some of the Google Adsense windows brought it to life. He also described something called A-B Testing: serving up two identical ads going to slightly different convert pages, observing the difference that the slight difference made, and deciding to keep that change. Zak said that click through conversion can be increased phenomenally just by iterating through this every 1000 clickthroughs.

I also learnt that there are three types of “SEO” people: Super Affiliates (those who partner with a company who wants to sell something and enter into a huge referral rate in the hundreds of dollars per customer), Pay-Per-Click marketeers (those who manage their adwords and search terms they appear on) and Hybrid marketeers (those who do both).

I also learnt that Google doesn’t really like what some Super Affiliates are doing sometimes, and that the Super Affiliates are listening to what Google has to say, including the rel="nofollow" microformat. It becomes obvious to me that the ones comment-spamming blogs don’t really know what they are doing; shooting themselves in the foot when it comes to Google.

I spent so long talking to Zak that I was late for the 2:15pm sessions. I really wanted to see Cameron Adams’ Javascript and the DOM session too. Oh well, there’s always the podcasts.

Thank goodness I made it back in time to catch Tantek’s Microformats session — fascinating stuff. I guess I already knew about XFN and rel=”nofollow” but I didn’t know that these were called microformats. Yay for learning!

Then Jeffrey Veen got up and did yet another PHENOMENAL session giving us all the boost we needed to go back to our jobs and do this stuff we’ve been learning about. I’m totally pumped. I’m gonna go out back and kick that tree.

For some reason, because I was that-guy-who-did-the-blog-donation-box-to-get-to-WE05, I was given a collectable WE05 belt pouch for a digital camera or iPod or the like. Sweet! Thanks people!

The WE05 afterparty was at The Pumphouse in Darling Harbour. Putting my Flickrazzi hat on, I caught some hilarious moments of the presenters on NVRAM and have put them up on Flickr for all to enjoy, namely Doug Bowman dancing, Eric, John Allsopp and Mark Harris doing the WWW, Derek Featherstone getting drawn into a pint, Tantek searching for Wifi at a dance club, and Eric giving Doug in his patented “CSS Brace”

Tantek tells me that I can probably go find many of the places where scenes from The Matrix were filmed here in Sydney; something I was hoping to do, but didn’t realise actually how easy it will be — 10 minutes of Google Searching apparently… hmm…

I have thoroughly enjoyed my time here in Sydney. Will I be back for WE06? Heck yes!

Oh, and don’t forget to keep the middle of May 2006 free in your calendars — a web conference in New Zealand is being planned, and you will highly desire coming along… but more on that later…

Today I asked him if he saw the software box on his desk — he hadn’t seen it. I told him it was a big white box. I got concerned that it might have fallen into his rubbish bin when it fell from the inbox — his desk wasn’t exactly tidy.

So we got concerned, and went and checked the rubbish bags downstairs. Luckily, we don’t actually have a dumpster, and there were only 5 rubbish bags, and 4 of them were translucent. Without committing to gutting each of the bags, sorting through the garbage, and repackaging it all, we assessed each of the bags unobtrusively, and lo, the box was located! Luckily, the bag was tied loosely, so we could retrieve said software from the bag quickly and efficiently.

The box had a few surface stains on it, and smelled a little like garbage.

“It’s just a little slimy. It’s still good, it’s still good!”

And the moral of the story is: Don’t have your waste paper basket “downhill” from your inbox…

Now excuse me… I have to go wash my hands…

Tonight, after a nice steak at the birthday party of my friend Matthew, he and his friends were gonna go and do some Karaoke. I was sceptical, as you can understand — I am the first to say “hell no” when it comes to karaoke. However, they mentioned that they were going to this place in Manners Mall — upstairs. There is only two bars on Manners, Hoops, a hip-hop bar on the ground floor, and the Pool Bar, which is a pool hall. Apparently, we weren’t going to either of those places. I was intrigued; I tagged along keeping an open mind.

Up the escalators in the Rock Shop Plaza and we reach the top floor just outside the Pool Bar. We don’t go in, but a couple of people from the group go up to “negotiate” our entry into “Oops! Karaoke”, a small complex of over 8 of what I could best describe as ‘karaoke booths’.

The seven of us are admitted and shown to a booth. The booth has 2 comfy couches, a table littered with vinyl covered books, a Korean remote control outclassing most label makers, two microphones connected by cables to a machine in the wall, which is also connected to 4 TVs in the wall.

Before I realise what is happening, a wig, a cowboy hat, and some tamborines are procured from the depths of the couches, and the lights dim and music begins. Two of the people have picked a song and are getting right into it, no waiting. I’m handed one of the vinyl books and told that the blue pages in this book are songs in English and advised to find a song I know and enter the code on the remote. I start flicking through the book, simultaneously listening to my new found Asian friends sing songs. (incidently, I’m the only non-asian in attendance) I’m sitting next to the birthday celebrant, who I know pretty well, and he’s singing a song I know REALLY well. He finishes a verse and hands me the mic. Everyone present encourages me to sing, so I do. Unfortunately, I can’t remember the songs we sang, but they were English pop songs that you’d probably know.

I get right into it, singing my best. When I’m done, a score comes up on the screen — 94. I guess it’s out of 100, because the birthday boy says that I did awesomely well. Well I’m not sure, but compared to one of the guys sitting across from me, I’m definitely doing okay

I proceed to find songs I know in the book, and sing along with the songs that others have picked that I know the tune to, singing into the microphone if it’s passed to me. I’m having a ball! But I hate karaoke!? This isn’t the same as in karaoke bars; This isn’t embarrassing; this is having fun with your friends! W00t! I pick a song, and when it comes up, my friends join in with me!

In the wall, the little karaoke machine is responding to the remote. You look up a song in the book and punch the number of the song into the remote, and press the big yellow “reserve” button. The number you punch appears on the TVs, with the title of the song in English and Korean next to it. The number and title of the next song up are along the screen. When one song ends, the next song begins.

Quickly I realise that the machine is quite simple: it is basically a library of MIDI files, with a loop of irrelevant video behind the lyrics. I spot a laminated sheet on the table that translates the Korean remote: not only does the remote program which songs we want to sing next, but the remote can change the speed of the music, change the key that the song is in, change the volume of the music, the volume of the microphones, the amount of echo in the microphones, and even a button to unleash canned applause, the latter of which I managed to activate after a rather good rendition of “My Heart will go On – Celine Dion”; a song easily hammed, but in this case, well deserved of an automated applause

The unit in the wall has a LED readout, one for the number of the song you’d punch in, but another for how many minutes we had left to sing. It started at ~70 minutes. At the end, we were having a really good time, and it let us sing our last song, then we left.

Would I do this kind of Karaoke again? You betcha. Making a fool of yourself in front of people you know, who are also making fools of themselves, is the best thing on earth. The fact that you’re doing your best to sing along to songs everyone already knows becomes hilarious and fun. Ask me 4 hours earlier if I’d have this much fun singing Karaoke and I’d have told you to get out of my face.

My name is Brett Taylor, and I like to sing karaoke with my friends.

• Complimentary pick up and set down from my place of employment. (read: You want me, come get me)
• Lunch provided.
• ~NZD$40 for the effort.

I usually end up giving a programmer a crash-course in something-or-rather technique, fixing some PHP, reviewing a website giving advice on how it could be improved, writing some reasonably trivial ActionScript, or whatever my ‘client’ can squeeze out of me in ~50 minutes.

I could probably charge more, but most of my clients get mates rates.

It’s not exactly a “lunch break”, but it’s good for a change of pace. Having to do something incredibly fast can be fun. Most of the time I get it finished to a level the client is happy with, and I’m quite pleased with myself for getting it finished so quick.

Sometimes it’s impossible for me to do something, for example, because something that I was called into to do relies on something that is broken that I can’t fix, I feel like I wasted their time as well as mine.

I’ve been allowed to let the cat out of the bag: Daniel has a LJ. That is all. We now return to your normally scheduled life.

Your Linguistic Profile:

I couldn’t resist taking this test when I saw it; I like to consider myself somewhat au fait with the Queen’s English and its incongruencies. But I’m probably kidding myself…

So I did it.

Get your Gizoogleate It! Bookmarklet after the jump…

Thanks to Chris who gave me the vouchers I used to buy this t-shirt

Google Images Search: random
And scroll a little… it scares me…

Thanks Vic!

Update: Vic sent this certificate in…

Glutnix: back
vic: Welcome.
Glutnix: heh yday in the work kitchen i totally 0wn3d some anonymous person…
Glutnix: for a few weeks now we’ve had this note stuck above the light switch telling us not to turn off the fluroscent lights because turning them on uses too much electricity.
Glutnix: and finally i thought — how many minutes of normal lighting juice does it take to turn the thing on?
vic: Wouldn’t it use less juice to stay off all night?
Glutnix: cos i’m thinking its like 1 minute max, but they make out it’s something like 3 hours or something
Glutnix: (we turned it off at night — it’s just the on and off and on and off of the day they’re concerned about)
vic: That’s ridiculous.
vic: Oh, I see. Maybe they should get one of those key switches.
Glutnix: which it turned out to be — turning on a fluro uses the same power as about 5 seconds of normal lighting
Glutnix: Should I Turn Off Fluorescent Lighting When Leaving A Room?
Short Answer: Turn them off if you will be gone for more than about 15-20 minutes (for details keep reading).
Glutnix: so we found a web page that basically blew that myth out of the water, turned it into a fact sheet and put it above the switch instead
vic: Your writing an article about it?
Glutnix: Article at LightingDesignLab.com
Glutnix: 0wn4g3!
vic: Lol! That’s hillarious. You should blog some of this stuff.

So I did…

And remember: always, always fact-check!

I present to you:

Ninja vs Pirate: Milk Menace!

Yeah, this actually took me more than 24 minutes to complete. So what, sue me! I don’t get analog very often, so pencil work doesn’t come naturally. After completing the pencil work, I showed the comic to my flatmates who liked it, and to my cartoonist friend Matix who said I should ink it. So I did. Then I scanned it and put it here for your benefit. Enjoy

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Glutnix: wow i got me a 20Q and I was guessing CD and it guessed DVD ROM
TmsT: o.o layman’s terms?
TmsT: is this on Trademe?
Glutnix: no
Glutnix: 20Q is a toy that plays “20 questions” with you
Glutnix: you press buttons on it
TmsT: aha
TmsT: so it guesses stuff and you teach it new things?
Glutnix: i don’t think the handheld learns
Glutnix: but it has a pretty big database of stuff
Glutnix: it got CD-ROM after 5 more questions
Glutnix: it askes 20 questions, you say yes, no, sometimes or unknown
TmsT: oh yep
Glutnix: after 20 it guesses, if it’s not right, it askes 5 more
TmsT: and if it hits a blank you enter the name of the thing?
Glutnix: no, it’s only got 6 buttons
TmsT: try “Colin Mochrie”
Glutnix: LOL

Read the rest — warning, hilarity about adult related subjects ensues.

Glutnix: it’s only good for generic items
Glutnix: so far it knows:
TmsT: ah. so you can’t add to its database?
Glutnix: tank
Glutnix: not to the toy’s db
TmsT: arg
Glutnix: but it’s based on the most popular items on the 20q.net website
Glutnix: http://20q.net/pocket.html is what i got
TmsT: oh yep
Glutnix: wow – quarter million synaptic connections
Glutnix: 20q knew “elf” and “paper” and “tank” and “pie”
TmsT: try ‘ninja’
Glutnix: ok
Glutnix: ninjas are animals, right?
Glutnix:
Glutnix: not small
Glutnix: not dangerous
Glutnix: oops, yes dangerous
Glutnix: doesn’t have short fur
TmsT: heh
Glutnix: doesn’t have 4 legs
TmsT: is “not animal” automatically not human as well?
Glutnix: doesn’t live water
Glutnix: *in
Glutnix: doesn’t lay eggs
TmsT: lol
Glutnix: does it bring joy?
TmsT: never
Glutnix: ok
Glutnix: LOL
Glutnix: is it a mammal!
TmsT: it destroys joy
TmsT: heheh yes
TmsT: but it could be a dentist, so far…
Glutnix: does it live in groups?
TmsT: ninjas are loners
TmsT: except when fighting mobs of pirates
Glutnix: so sometimes?
TmsT: soemtimes
Glutnix: stands on two legs
Glutnix: it’s a predator
Glutnix: doesn’t have claws
TmsT: hehe
Glutnix: does it help accomplish tasks?
Glutnix: yes…
Glutnix: not comforting
TmsT: haha
TmsT: nope
TmsT: i mean yes
Glutnix: many different sorts? no
Glutnix: multicoloured? no
TmsT: only mutant turtle ones
Glutnix: worth a lot of money?
Glutnix: i say unknown
Glutnix: would you use it in the dark — totally
TmsT: proably worth a bit
TmsT: yes,,,,
Glutnix: is it smooth?
Glutnix: hell yes
Glutnix: IT GOT IT RIGHT!
TmsT: aaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha
Glutnix: “it’s a ninja”
Glutnix: posting that to my blog
TmsT: does it have “R-18” words in its vocab? like “porn star”?
TmsT: haha not even Ninjas can escape the mighty 20Q
Glutnix: i don’t think so
TmsT: try “dildo”.
Glutnix: lol ok
Glutnix: animal, vegetable, mineral, other, or unknown?
TmsT: other
Glutnix: not flat
TmsT: it’s more of a… household object isnt it
Glutnix: use it daily?
Glutnix: … no
TmsT: haha YES
TmsT: ok no
Glutnix: use it in your home?
Glutnix: YES
Glutnix: found in a classroom? NO
TmsT: lol
TmsT: except if you look hard enough
Glutnix: usually colourful?
TmsT: yes
Glutnix: can be used more than once? YES
Glutnix: LOL can it bend without breaking? YES
TmsT: ahaha
Glutnix: comforting? YES
TmsT: lol
Glutnix: LOL does it get wet?
Glutnix: YES
TmsT: XD
Glutnix: do you hold it when you use it? YES
TmsT: oh noes
TmsT: it’s gonna get the answer
Glutnix: can it affect you? YES
TmsT: haha
Glutnix: can you smell it? ~ no
Glutnix: do you clean it regularly? YES
Glutnix: would you use it in the dark? YES
TmsT: HAHAHAHA
Glutnix: do most ppl use this daily NO
Glutnix: LMAO is it hard? YES
TmsT: XDDDD
Glutnix: lol it randomly taunts you — “i can’t believe you are thinking of that”
Glutnix: does it make sound?
Glutnix: i don’t know
TmsT: hmm
TmsT: ideally, no
TmsT: but yes it does
TmsT: just enough sound for grandpa to hear
Glutnix: sometimes then?
TmsT: yeah why not
Glutnix: smaller than a loaf of bread? YES
TmsT: depends on how big the oven is
Glutnix: is it straight?
TmsT: usually….
Glutnix: ok it’s guessing
TmsT: hehe
Glutnix: it guesses ‘ a toy ‘
TmsT: ….:D
Glutnix: LMAO
Glutnix: lets try for 25q
TmsT: hahahaaaa i don’t know if the makers were being subtle or if it has no idea
Glutnix: would you give it as a gift
TmsT: set it on max
TmsT: yes
Glutnix: sometimes
Glutnix: does it come in a box?
Glutnix: LOL
TmsT: ahhhhhahaha
Glutnix: ROFL
TmsT: brilliant!
Glutnix: ‘come’ in a ‘box’
TmsT: it’s making puns! the true sign of intelligence!!!
TmsT: yed
TmsT: yes*
Glutnix: can it be painted?
Glutnix: no
Glutnix: does it break if dropped? no
Glutnix: last q
Glutnix: does it have writing on it? no
Glutnix: thinking
TmsT: >_>
TmsT: <_ <
Glutnix: LMAO “It’s a fetish?”
TmsT: oh come ON
TmsT: close enough.
Glutnix: ROFLMAO
TmsT: see if it gets condom.
Glutnix: oh gee
TmsT: if it does, then it’s a sexist bastard
Glutnix: /wipes forehead
TmsT: lol
TmsT: hours of fun…
Glutnix: flat?
Glutnix: yet
Glutnix: yes
Glutnix: use it at work? no
TmsT: haha depends where ya work
Glutnix: heavier than a pound of butter? no
Glutnix: is it straight?
TmsT: “does it come in a box” teeheheheee
Glutnix: LMAO
Glutnix: no, not straight
Glutnix: used over 100 years ago?
TmsT: maybe
Glutnix: no
TmsT: ok
Glutnix: make sound? no
TmsT: heheh
Glutnix: do you hold it when you use it? yes
Glutnix: used more than once? no
Glutnix: usually colorful? yes
Glutnix: ?
Glutnix: i say yes
Glutnix: soft? yes
TmsT: yes
Glutnix: fit in an envelope? LOL yes
TmsT: (i’m watching Lurchy’s new flash)
TmsT: heheh
Glutnix: smell it?
Glutnix: yeah i guess
Glutnix: flexible? yes
Glutnix: burn? i guess
Glutnix: carry in your pocket? yes
Glutnix: found in classroom?
TmsT: heheh
Glutnix: i say sometimes
TmsT: ok
Glutnix: smaller than golf ball? yes
Glutnix: come in a box? LMAO
Glutnix: yes
TmsT: oh dear
Glutnix: found in an office? no
TmsT: orifice?
Glutnix: LOL LOL LOL is it a gummy bear?
TmsT: hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahha
TmsT: close, but no banana
Glutnix: q21: round?
Glutnix: no
Glutnix: or yes
TmsT: yes
Glutnix: i don’t know
Glutnix: yes ok
TmsT: maybe
Glutnix: use it daily? …
Glutnix: … i say no…
TmsT: did they ask “can you re use it”?
Glutnix: yeah early as
Glutnix: come from something larger?
Glutnix: unknown
TmsT: nope
Glutnix: give as a gift?
TmsT: the gift that keeps on giving, baby!
Glutnix: …probably not
Glutnix: last q
TmsT: o.o
Glutnix: LOL does it get really hot?
TmsT: hopefully.
Glutnix: yes
Glutnix: thinking
TmsT: …
Glutnix: pizza
TmsT: *drumroll*
TmsT: PIZZA?
Glutnix: i know
Glutnix: wtf
TmsT: Gummy bear was closer…
Glutnix: lol gummy bear
TmsT: note to self: electronic toys need to study sex ed.
Glutnix: lol
Glutnix: totally putting this log up
TmsT: “Hey guys! Who wants pizza?” *holds up a condom*
TmsT: I’ll draw a cartoon for that
TmsT: gimme a minute or 3

Thanks to Andrew for the cartoon visible to your left right

Then I saw Brian Emling, cartoonist of Breakpoint City, asking for a Gmail account on his site. So I gave him one. So then he did this Cheers Brian! Go read his comic

UPDATE: Thanks to Kodiak for suggesting this page with six steps to losing weight, it really helped me set some targets. Apparently I have to lose about 25kgs, and I should set myself up to lose that weight over the space of about 12 months. It’s a depressing number, but probably the reality of the whole situation

Anyway, as embarrased as I might be to share that I like both Angel Moxie and the Powerpuff Girls is to share these two episodes with you which help shed some light on the whole Geek vs Nerd debate that has been going on the last 1000 years or so.

Yes, extremely lame joke. Smileychris will be proud