Mother of All SQL statements


SELECT ``. * , `regions`.`regionname` ,
MATCH (
``.name_first, ``.name_last, ``.address1, ``.address2
)
AGAINST (
' runner '
) AS relevance
FROM `regions`
INNER JOIN `` ON ( `regions`.`id` = ``.`region_id` )
WHERE (
(
``.businessflag = 0 AND ``.name_last
LIKE 'runner'
)
) OR (
(
``.businessflag = 1
) AND
MATCH (
``.name_first, ``.name_last, ``.address1, ``.address2
)
AGAINST (
'runner'
) > 0
)
HAVING relevance > 0
ORDER BY relevance DESC

OK, maybe not the mother of all SQL statements, but maybe the PHP will convince you otherwise:

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Where Glutnix comes from

Dark_Aoshi:P|Naomi:P|: why u put Glutnix
Dark_Aoshi:P|Naomi:P|: on the nick
Glutnix: you know how some software is all bloated?
Glutnix: y’know, runs really slowly for what it does?
Glutnix: well Glut means fat and bloated, nix means zero
Glutnix: so it means no bloat

Fla-vor-ice

Faithfreek: grociery time hoorah
Faithfreek: oh u kno here’s something u shood promote
Glutnix: oh yeah?
Faithfreek: u kno those ice blocks u can get in a bag
Faithfreek: at the supermarket
Faithfreek: tell everyone to buy them cos they rule
Glutnix: yeah?
Glutnix: lmao
Faithfreek: and they’re only 2 bucks a bag
Glutnix: lmoa
Glutnix: you mean like party ice?
Faithfreek: nah
Faithfreek: um
Faithfreek: wait i’ll check the name
Glutnix: the maoris hunted the lmoa to extintion ๐Ÿ™
Faithfreek: nice
Faithfreek: imoa – n
Glutnix: apples new computer is called the imoa
Faithfreek: ok bluebird fla-vor-ice
Faithfreek: 25 bars in a pak yum
Faithfreek: ha
Glutnix: oh those! they are l33t
Faithfreek: 133t?
Glutnix: l33t
Glutnix: leet, as in elite
Glutnix: as in excellent
Faithfreek: beta split
Faithfreek: seeya soon
Glutnix: ok man cya
Faithfreek: be back in an hour or so
Faithfreek: mmmm food shopping
Glutnix: the chemical cyanice is tasty, but deadly
Glutnix: it is coloured cyan
Glutnix: sometimes it is frozen

Wrong Headphones Syndrome

My mum just sent me a package for my birthday (Friday 14th Feb!) and I got my full over ear headphones that I lent to my brother over xmas back. I took them into work and took my walkman headphones out, you know the ones that have the band that goes over the back of the head? So I plug them in and listen to my MP3s for a while. Then as you do, you take them off to move around the office, and then I came back and put my headphones back on. Half an hour later I realised I’d put the headphones on that were unplugged, and had no music going… how mental is that? Ah well, they are now in my bag so I won’t make that mistake again! ๐Ÿ˜€

Pun-ish

OK here’s a list of random junk that’s in my external brain (my notebook i carry with me)
* The Dead Sea Scrollbars
* (two year old) When I grow up I want to be a camping sniper!
* Vlad the Impala
* The thin blue <HR>
* (Sphinx Chariot Sales) This chariot comes with a built in Egyptian Seat…
You may groan…. now.