An Open letter to Bill Holbrook

Hi Bill,

My name is Brett Taylor. I’m a 24yo male from Wellington, New Zealand. I’m proud to be a geek.

I started reading your web comic Kevin and Kell on Monday 5th September after repeated recommendations from several sites around the internet. I finished reading it all last night (Monday 12th). I had never read any Kevin and Kell before that Monday.

I’m writing to tell you about how Kevin and Kell has changed my life. You see, I really shouldn’t have been reading this comic in the first place; I’m recovering from an addiction to pornography — my favorite stuff was the furry stuff, and anything furry-related (like Kevin and Kell) is a potential danger zone for me.

But I kept reading. I read all ten years of your comic in a week, taking up all my spare time. But I started getting depressed. I guess I grew kind of jealous of how the characters of Domain came together when they faced problems time and time again, and how they grew closer together, overcoming adversity as a team. For some reason, I really identified with Lindesfarne early on. At the time, I couldn’t work out why.

On Friday night, a friend of mine gave me some ribbing about how I should ask this girl that I had told him I fancied, like he normally does. Usually I can shrug his pestering off, but this time it stuck. And it hurt. The depression got worse. But I kept reading, longing to know more about the world of Kevin and Kell.

On Sunday night, at my church, after the evening service, I broke into tears, confused at what was going on inside of me. The pain that resulted inside of me from reading the comic that was full of happiness and joy was tearing me apart.

Pain is a good thing. It tells us that something is wrong and we need to take action to fix it.

Thankfully, a friend came over and looked after me. I thank God that she did. Over the course of what seemed like an eternity, I came to realise that while I am caring and loving to others, I do so without realising that there is a wall around my heart, making it difficult for others to care for me. I was lonely. I knew I was lonely, but I didn’t even know that it was this wall around me, but I now I know it’s there.

I guess that’s why I identified with Lindesfarne so much. She grew up with her quills as a wall that made it hard for others to get close to her without getting hurt. But somehow she made it through, even gaining a life-long companion. I long so much for family, friendships and relationships similar to the ones portrayed in your comic in my own life.

Is what I long for attainable? I know K&K is fiction, but I know that within the story of Domain there is truth for the whole human world, and that some of that truth is obtainable for my own life. I know the road in front of me is long — I have to figure out how to let people into my heart, and not scare them away. Am I scared? I’m scared out of my wits. I don’t know what I’m gonna have to do. I’m afraid of rejection; of putting my heart on the line, only to have it thrown back in my face.

But I guess I’m writing you to say Thank You. When I think about the world of K&K and Lindesfarne, I’m sad, but now I know what’s wrong with me, I’m going to do what needs to be done to let people into my life. I know that eventually goodness will come out of this. I know that the sadness will eventually pass and I will feel some of the joy that Lindesfarne must feel when she thinks of her friends and family.

Thanks Bill. Thanks for contributing towards this revelation in my life. I will continue to read every day. Please pray for me that I will be able to take down my walls and let those who are closest to me into my heart. If you don’t reply, that’s okay; you’re probably a busy man.

God Bless.

A huge fan,

Brett Taylor

6 thoughts on “An Open letter to Bill Holbrook

  1. Bill Replied:

    Thank you very much for your message, and for discovering the fable of “Kevin & Kell.” I really appreciate it, and I’m glad that the lives of the Dewclaws have touched you. Lindesfarne’s story is indeed that of overcoming barriers preventing others from getting close, and it’s something she deals with every day. Her success in that regard can be an inspiration.

    Bill Holbrook

  2. You are an amazingly honest and open person and I was sad to hear that you have been barricaded in loneliness behind walls you constructed. I think this is the case for MANY people and our fear disconnects us from the whole of human experience. I hope you take steps for happiness now.

  3. Good luck with facing those demons, I know how hard these things can be.

  4. its ok to be weak… God is close to the broken-hearted. hang in there k

  5. My Lord...

    I hate to say it, but the more of your writs I see – the more I find a confused child who uses the ‘PAIN IS A REASON FOR CHANGE’ excuse. It’s merely a part of life. Stop whining – and for Christ’s sake, if you’re going to find some furry comic to fall back on, at least find one with more than one punchline, such as Sluggy Freelance.

  6. “I hate to say it, but the more of your writs I see – the more I find a confused child who uses the ‘PAIN IS A REASON FOR CHANGE’ excuse. It’s merely a part of life. Stop whining”

    So you’re saying I should do what most people with pain do and “continue to paint over the rotting wood”… keeping up appearances, trying to forget the pain?

    I stand my ground. Pain tells us something needs to change. If we stand on a nail, pain tells me something’s wrong with my foot, and I need to assess the damage done; I’ll need to change the location of my foot, and if necessary, take action to prevent bleeding or infection. Common sense really.

    Is it not better to deal with the source of the pain than to take pain killers? My addiction is one that grants a temporary release from the world. A temporary release from the pain. Self-medicating, if you will.

    I can feel this pain in my heart (not the one that pumps blood, the one that loves). Should I just take a pain-killer? Or should I safely remove the ‘nail’ that I’ve only just realised is poked through it?

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