Just to make things worse

Mel is going out with my best friend Chris, the same Chris I flat with. This started last week. I’m not exactly happy with the whole thing, understandably. It hurts. Mel told me she didn’t mean to hurt me. Thats cool she said that, but it doesn’t stop the hurt. I’m not angry that they are together. I just hurt on the inside, thats all. Chris and I have talked about it and we’ve sorted it out between us.

The thing I guess that cuts me up the most is that I have never had a period where Mel didn’t come over to our house for more than a week. When Mel and I broke up, she kept coming over and seeing Chris – as friends. Now that friendship has blossomed. I’m happy for them, and don’t want them to break up because of me – they’re going out because they feel that way for each other, I have no input into that. But it doesn’t change the fact that I still hurt.

They are both great people who are responsible adults who will make the right decisions. I’m just gonna keep out of the whole situation. I don’t want to be hurt any more.

(make sure you read the disclaimer before getting angry at me)

I hate paper. Long Live my diary!

A few weeks ago I went to a church camp that I should have blogged about but didn’t. The young adults (which includes me) had a seminar that was advertised as “Get your life into order”. When it started it was announced this was a time management seminar. It was cool and extremely useful. Something that was mentioned was ‘GET A DIARY’, even if you have to get a palm pilot like so-and-so did.

So then I screw up my dates and double book coming to youth group to help out the person who took the seminar, with a meeting to organise a service in two weeks. Oops. Time to get a diary. Now I have always reviled doing paper. I already have my “external brain” — a spiral bound paper notebook which I note thoughts I have in. It’s unlined, and isn’t good for storing appointments or dates in, so I don’t.

I have so many meetings and appointments and stuff it’s easy to double book or forget meetings. So I bucked my own trend and bought a tiny pocket diary. It fits in my jacket pocket along with my external brain — perfect. I had to shop around for it though, but I found it at Capital Office Supplies down Masons Lane near Johns Kitchen, at the Railway Station end of Lambton Quay.

So here I go, using ‘analog technology’. It goes against what I stand for, but it is cost effective, and will get my life back into order. So be warned, if you want to ask me to lunch or coffee or whatever, I’ll have to check my diary to fit you in. 😉

iPod is good – Materialism is bad

Don’t get me wrong – my iPod is awesome. It’s like the best mp3 player you can get and it’s far outstripped my expectations. But the ‘buzz’ of getting a new toy wears thin. I’ve had this thing for a week and it’s still cool, but not as cool as the first day I got it. It’s just another cool thing I own.

Lusting after material things is a bad thing. I can say that my iPod is great, but I didn’t NEED it. I wanted it, and the benefit of buying it was great, but was it just the next new toy?

You hear on webfroot how I want to get myself a GPS unit so I can go GeoCaching. My justification for buying a GPS is as follows:

I need to get fit. I know this, but not because of people who care about me telling me so. I’m getting a beer belly like my father, and that’s a scary thought to me. I used to do orienteering (the foot variety) but I gave it up when I became a christian because orienteering events where I lived were always on a Sunday morning. Geocaching is a cousin to orienteering – it deals with maps, terrain and getting places. My mum will tell you I’ve always liked maps from when I was a kid. I have never been a sport-playing person. I tried, but I was never good enough to join in with kids of my own age. Orienteering was good for me cos it was me versus me — I was only competing against my previous records. And now I’m a desk jockey, I need another (the only?) decent form of exercise. I believe GeoCaching is that exercise. And I can take my iPod with me 🙂

But then again, anyone can justify anything to themselves. And I’m not trying to justify myself to you.

Part of me is real guilty about desiring these material things. There is so much good that NZ$400 or NZ$700 could do for other less fortunate people than myself, the same money I could use to get a GPS or an iPod. Should I think more about other people than my own vanity or lust for gadgets or new cds to put on my iPod? Can you see my moral dillema?

The bible says in many places within its pages that one of the true signs of a christian is that person treating others as they themselves want to be treated. I know what I should do and it’s something I’ve been thinking of for a very long time. I want to do it but I don’t want to do it. I’m afraid of what it will mean and what I’ll become. But I’m excited of what will happen – what good it will do others and what good it will do me. Jesus tells the rich young ruler in Luke 18:18 to sell all his possessions and give to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven. Then why don’t I see other christians selling all their possessions? The bible isn’t condemning having possessions. It’s condemning not using your wealth lovingly.

This is a snapshot of how I feel. It’s a dump of my thoughts. Don’t take it as how I feel all the time. Please just try and see how I am being challenged. Thank you.

Broke up.

Don’t want to talk about it on the net, but Mel broke up with me last night. 5 months. I feel like crap on a stick. Which isn’t good.

Back online!

Yay! We’re back online and it’s kicking ass! w00t 🙂 Sweet as 🙂 Cheers to Benny from TelstraClear who came and installed it all 🙂